It was summer and I was on vacation Bogota.
I found this Josefa ─ which I did not see years ago ─ we went for drinks and in the taxi I asked her about that stormy relationship she had with that disque "plastic artist" a boy much younger than her. Lucas ─ the aforementioned ─ had her submissive and self-conscious saying that she was ugly and old; that no one was going to love her and that she was lucky that he was with her. He was a slob.
Josefa told me that she had already put an end to that relationship, after the above mentioned had deceived her with whatever skirt she found.
I was very happy ─ But the joy was only momentary ─ She told me that now she was going out with a guy who called her "P *** a" ─ And she laughed at it !! That hurt me more ─ I did not understand if her laugh was nervous or if she did not want to realize that she was falling into the same thing again.
The situation with this new guy was even worse than what he had with Lucas.
To begin with they were not in love ─ They were "friends with rights" ─ Obviously, that was not the problem ─ The dilemma here is that when Josefa found out that her "friend with rights" had a crush on her, she wanted to cut with him, but this "awakening" Man "managed to retain Josefa psychologically and continue to claim their" rights "before her.
So much was the manipulation of this man towards Josefa, that she came to think that she needed him, she was afraid to be alone. He came to think that nobody was going to fix on her and blah blah blah.
Josefa was "a trilogy of telelloronas Mexicanas corta venas" where she alone was the protagonist and victim at the same time.
Then just as one shouts at the television, seeing that the protagonist is in danger and everyone except she sees it, I said:
─ Are you even listening to Josefa ??
─ Run! Realize that this supposed relationship has neither a head nor a head and is beginning to re-evil.
─ Run! Before you see yourself more involved with this guy, he DOES NOT LOVE YOU! he will not love you
─ Run! All warning signs are lit with neon red. The universe is warning you that nothing good can come out of this.
─ Run! You are worth a thousand times more than him, you have made mistakes ─ we all make mistakes ─ but do not let him take advantage of that to play with your self-esteem.
─ Run! Believe me, you'll be better alone. The right person for you will come when you least imagine it.
─ Run! Realize that you do not need anyone to be happy more than yourself.
Josefa cried and told me that it was very difficult to get out of this circle of bad relationships. Crying, she told me that "at least nobody beat her." It gave me a pain in my soul to hear that she thought everything was "right" because no one physically mistreated her. "YET" ─ Josefa thought it was "normal" to suffer in a relationship with such of not feeling alone; total there was not a perfect man and maybe with time he would change.
I hugged her tightly and with the makeup run by the crying I said:
─ You are important and you are worth very much never let anyone make you believe otherwise.
She told me that she would try; and if it was necessary, she would seek professional help. I did not really believe her at that moment, but I expected her to do so, because no one but her could make the decision.
After a few months we saw each other again. He told me that he was not with that guy anymore and that he had learned to value himself more. She was not going to let anyone else destroy her self-esteem. I had had enough of that already. I was alone for the moment and I was happily busy learning to love.
Sometimes, we do not see the danger signs in our relationships ─ It is always easier to look at the straw in someone else's eye and criticize ─ We do not run; and the worst is that we do not want to see everything is wrong. We play the role of victim, because perhaps it is easier than taking cards in the matter.
Sometimes we are very masochistic and we think that with an "Abracadabra" the situation will change, so let me tell you that No! ─ The only way a situation changed is to take off the blindfold and open up to yourself. Sometimes it is better to stop, take a deep breath and look at the situation from the outside to understand it and realize that you have the power to decide and end with what does not do you good.
Be a protagonist, do not be a victim ─ do not victimize yourself, you win nothing ─ Run and ask for help. Stay away from toxic relationships ─ be it your partner or people who advise you badly ─ Make decisions based on self-love and not based on fear. Remember that fear is a bad adviser.
To love another ─ and even if it sounds cliche─ first you must know how to love yourself. Never be with someone for fear of staying alone.
Release the fear, let it go! Let the universe surprise you. You will see that in your life someone will arrive who your happiness will be based on making you smile.